


Always By Your Side (Tenth Doctor X Reader)

by S0N9_M1N0



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: F/M, Tenth Doctor Era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-18
Updated: 2018-11-11
Packaged: 2019-06-12 07:47:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 9,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15335214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/S0N9_M1N0/pseuds/S0N9_M1N0
Summary: You had seen them all. You had seen the Doctor snog Madame de Pompadore. You had seen him get kissed by Rose Tyler who had been possessed by Cassandra when she kissed him. You had seen him smile fondly after all those girls he kissed, and felt yourself becoming sadder and sadder, because you were the one always by your side, yet he never noticed you as anything more than a friend.





	1. Chapter 1

'Hyah!'

Oh, how you loved that sound.

That was the sound of you judo-ing... and winning, of course.

You ducked the foot that whistled by your head and grabbed it in midair, swinging Johnson across the room. He skittered for a few meters then rolled and came up, then charged at you, and swung his fist. You just sidestepped, and he stumbled. He aimed another punch at you and you merely stuck out your foot, and he tripped. He tried to get up, and you yanked on his arm. Oops. Dislocated arm.

'Chia, senor.' You saluted. 'Better luck next time.'

He ground his teeth and you left.

'Two years of judo and no one can beat me.' you mumbled. 'I am beautiful.'

You changed back into your shorts and T-Shirt and stuffed your judo clothes into your backpack. The door chimes jingled when you left.

Humming, you opened the door to the bakery in your street and closed the door behind you softly. 'Hi, Jake.' you said, quietly.

''Ello, girle. How you doing? Want some bread?'

'Do you have some cookies? I need to refill my cookie jar.' you told him. 'It's very important. And no nuts, please. I'm allergic.'

'You're allergic to _nuts?_ Blimey, must be horrible.' A man next to you said.

You sighed. 'Oh, you have no idea. Everybody's eating nuts and I can't. I just have to have _raw cabbage_ at family meetings cause my mum makes her special sauce specially nutty.'

''Ere you go, girlie.' Jake handed you a tin of cookies. 'That'll be... this much.' he pulled up a few numbers.

'Uh, I'll pay for this lovely lady here.' The man handed Jake a few dollars. Jake squinted at him. 'Oh, got an eye out for 'is girlie here? Good choice. She's pre-ey, this one is. Catches the eye of almost everyone.'

'Is that so?' You looked at the man more closely. He was tall, and skinny, wearing a suit. He had a long brown coat on, and had brown hair. And he was really hot.

You swiped the tin of cookies from the counter. 'Hello. Who are you?'

'I'm the Doctor. That blonde lady over there is my friend Rose Tyler.'

'Girlfriend?' you asked him, opening the tin. 'Want one?'

'Thank you.' he took one and then shook his head. 'No, just a friend.'

Screwing it shut, you stuffed it into your bag. 'You're the Doctor. Cool. I'm (Y/N). (Y/N) (L/N).'

'Interesting.'

'What?' you bumped your shoulder against his arm, playfully. He smiled. Charmingly.

'That's not most people's reactions to my name.'

'What is it, then?'

'Doctor who?'

'Oh.' you shrugged. 'Well, I respect people's choices. And that includes choices to choose their own, however weird, names. Are you trying to do something?'

'Me? Nah.' he shook his head, then nodded, like some awkward shake-nod. 'Actually, yeah.'

'What?'

'We're-'  the blonde cut him off.

'Chatting up some hot ladies here, are we, Doctor?' she drawled, then giggled.

'Actually,' he said a matter-of-factedly and sending you small glances, 'Me and (Y/N) here, we were talking about the thing we were looking for.'

'Oh.' she looked slightly disappointed. 'Well, carry on.'

'We're looking for a witness of a strange creature. Greenish-purple. About...' he gestured with his hands. 'This big? You haven't seen one around, have you, (Y/N)?'

'I have.' you said, truthfully. 'Most recently, it was in the streets about.... this morning. Before that, yesterday evening. And I know another witness. He's seen things better. More clearly. He was ranting about it first thing in the morning.'

He held out his hands. 'Back up. Slow down. Can you take us to this person?'

'Yes. He's Johnson, I dislocated his arm about fifteen minutes ago.' you answered.

He blinked a little, and the girl's eyes went wide as pennies. 'Good enough. Talk to us along the way.'

* * *

 

'So I was just walking along the street,' you told them, 'And then there was this weird hybrid monster thing. It was about that big, the size of a husky, and no one even noticed it, they just walked past it like it was really normal. And then it went to the middle of the road, and looked around. And kind of.... _chose_ a car. Then this little tentacle thingy came out if it and it latched onto the back of the car, the rest of its body followed. It crept onto the back, and it started to pulse. Like it was feeding on something. Glow purple, then die down. Glow, die, glow, die.'

You were afraid they'd tell you you were loony.

'Yes. Good. Great. But how can you see them? They're supposed to be invisible!'

'Heck, I don't know.' you threw your hands up. 'I'm not going crazy, right?'

'No, you're not. Unless you are.'

'Which is obviously very comforting.' you said, sarcastically.

Rose patted your back comfortingly. 'You get used to it.'

'So here we are.' you gestured to the small place. 'Welcome to Charlotte's Combat Classes. Free for today- no classes.'

'CCC. Nice.' He commented, his hands stuffed in his pockets.

'And that's him.' you nodded towards a grumpy redhead who had his foot wrapped in a bandage.

'What the 'ell d'you lot want?' Johnson scowled. 'Especially that nasty freak who broke m'arm.'

'I _dislocated_ it, moron.' you stuck your tongue out. 'Now come here.'

'What in the name o'the devi' are y'going to d'to me?' he backed away. 'No way. I ain't going ove'there.'

'She's going to relocate it.' The Doctor took his free arm and led him to you, gently. You smiled at him before turning to Johnson, and grabbed his arm.

_Crack._

'Ow!' He screamed bloody murder. 'Y'broke me arm! Again!'

'She relocated it.' The Doctor murmured. 'Now I have some questions for you.'

'What d'you want?' Johnson trudged towards the empty chair.

The Doctor immediately launched into interrogations, and Johnson started answering them halfheartedly. You grit your teeth and pushed open the door with your shoulder, feeling the breeze against you. Rose joined you.

'Why did he call you a freak?' She said, quietly. 'Didn't seem like for no reason.'

You turned towards her, and laughed bitterly. 'Really? You don't know?'

'It's not obvious or something, is it?'

'No wonder you were so nice to me.' you said. 'If you knew, which you should, then you'd probably call me a freak too.'

'What is it?' She frowned. 'I can't see.... what's wrong....'

'Don't see.' You said. 'It's best if you don't.'

'Please.' she said. 'I've seen Daleks, monsters, ghosts, and more. I wouldn't be freaked out.'

'They all call me a freak.' you turned away and wrapped your arms around you. 'You'd be freaked out. Because they're not your race. I am. I'm more similar to you than they are. It freaks people out more.'

'What is it?' she said. 'Just tell me!'

'Look.' you said. 'Look at me. Look at my features. What's wrong?'

'Nothing.' she frowned. 'Nothing's wrong.'

'Don't see. _Look._ '

'I can't.'

_'Look!'_ You snapped at her. 'You wanted to look. I gave you enough hints. If you can't see, then stop being so damn curious! Look, for god's sake, if you want to! If you can't, well, it's not my fault exactly, is it?'

Rose opened her mouth and closed it again. You brushed your hair out of your face.

'Sorry.' you said, your mouth dry. 'I'll get going now. Maybe the Doctor can provide me better company.'

He was interrogating Johnson when you walked in. 'Like, I ain't seein' it, exactly, I ain't able to see it! But then there was this a'whooshing soun' and somethin' col's latching ont' my leg, yeah? So I screamed bloody 'ell and kicked it, even though I ain't seein' it, and I hit somethin'.... but it was really drainin' me, I fel' so tired!' Johnson blabbed.

'So you couldn't see it.' The Doctor said. 'And when you kicked it, it got stronger.'

'Yeah. M'I goin' crazy?'

'Nah. You're not. Perfectly fine, actually. But how, how can you see it!? I can't see it, Johnson can't see it, Rose can't see it, nobody we asked can see it!'

You shrugged. 'Maybe I'm just naturally great?'

'Oh. Oh, I like you.' he winked at you. 'But how?' Proceeding to tearing-his-own-hair-out mode.

'My eyes?'

He froze. 'What about your eyes? What's wrong with your eyes?' The Doctor took out a weird thing with a blue end and scanned your eyes.

'You don't need to use that.' you swatted it away. 'Is that a _sonic screwdriver?_ '

'Thank you!' he exclaimed, like a little kid. 'No one ever gets it right! But oh, you, you got it right! Now what's wrong with your-' he gripped the sides of your head and brought his face closer to yours. '-eyes?'

Your gaze held his, soft brown against fiery kaleidoscope.

'Oh.' he whispered. 'Oh.'

'Nice eyes.' you breathed, not knowing what else to say.

'Your eyes.' his thumb reaching just the edge of your eye. 'Like stars.'

'Maybe that's why I can see them.' you suggested.

'Yes! (Y/N), you are brilliant!' he kissed you on the lips just once, and that was the day.

The day you first met him, and the day you fell in love with him.

 


	2. Chapter 2

'We have to go.' He bowed playfully. 'It was a pleasure working with you, madame.'

'And I you.' You felt a soft smile grace your lips. 'Although.... it would be better if I came with you.'

'No, I can't ask that of you.' He looked slightly sad.

You nudged his shoulder. 'Or could you? I'm very handy. I could help fix that spaceship of yours when you need it.'

'Hmm.' He looked at you. 'Really?'

'Why not? Heck yeah. I've been fixing my dad's car since I was seven. I like mechanics. I can also help beat up people if you want.'

'I'm a pacifist.' He made a peace sign.

You snorted. 'Says the guy who tackled a monster to the floor.'

'Fine, fine.' He raised his hands. 'Yeah, maybe I'm not, but I don't use violence till I have to. I prefer my amazing intellect.'

"What amazing intellect?" You looked around mockingly, and laugh at his sad expression. "Good god, I'm joking. But really, can I?"

He shoved his hands in his pockets and looks down. "It's pretty dangerous. If you want to leave your life, I mean-"

"Are you kidding? Of course I do! I will definitely not mind going past grandmas who say I'm some child of the devil or whatever every day."

He grinned. "Then it will be my pleasure having you aboard."

The Doctor took your hand and led you into the TARDIS, and you couldn't help but feel a flutter in your chest.

For him.


	3. Chapter 3

"IT'S THE CHILD OF THE DEVIL!" The grandma shrieked.

You sighed.

Over months of traveling with the doctor, you could never get rid of one phase. That particular phase.

"Try to calm down." You smiled. "I'm not the child of the devil. I go around in a magical box with a annoying almost-immortal idiot and can travel through time via the box."

"GET AWAY FROM ME!" She shrieked, waving her cross necklace at you.

"Please, I'm with the Doctor, so can you just evacuate the damn building and run away from that giant time bomb they've planted?"

"NO! I SHALL NOT SUCCUMB TO THE DEVIL!"

"Hullo." The Doctor poked his head through the door. "What's happening here?"

"This lady keeps saying I'm the devil's child and refuses to listen to my advice about evacuating the building."

"Oh...." He winced. "She's very sensitive about that, madame, and the building's about to collapse. I can assure you that this person, although seems like one, is no child of the devil. She eats too many nachos for that. And nachos are for the good."

Grandma devil fanned herself. "Oh, since this handsome young man says so, I believe I must evacuate, shouldn't I?" She nodded at you. "Well? Lead the way, child."

"How come- I suggested it first but- Wha-" You bit your lip. " _Never mind._ "

The Doctor tossed you a pair of sunglasses. "You know what to do."

"Do you-" You snorted at his cockiness. "Wink wink, everybody listens to me because I'm the goddamn doctor, and I'm so frigging handsome and charming."

"Well, I am." He nodded. "I'll send you a signal as soon as I locate the time bomb."

"How?"

He winked. Again.

"Just wait for it."

Your situation: a time maniac had planted a time bomb in the damn building (on Earth) so you were trying to evacuate everyone in the building and diffuse the bomb. A time bomb, as the Doctor had explained painstakingly, was a small disc shaped bomb, that released charges of energy similar to the TARDIS that rippled through several dimensions and time zones, making sure they lapsed on each other. This building would be literally trapped in time, in a giant time loop.

"Okay, what's this..." You gritted your teeth and looked at the map and the blueprints you had acquired (hacked) into your phone. "That way is the...the damn what? What the... oh, okay. Here it is, that's the....security! Okay, let's go! One more floor to go!" You cheered and climbed up the steps two by two, heading towards the security room (or so you hoped.)

"This is exactly what happens when Rose Tyler goes on a day off." You mumbled, then squinted to open the door. Seeing as nobody was there, you whipped off your sunglasses and punched a button you hoped was the "live broadcast".

"HELLO, CITIZENS OF WHATEVER CITY THIS IS!"

You winced. That was a little louder than expected.

"SO, THIS PLACE IS PLANTED WITH A BOMB! A DANG TERRORIST PLANTED IT ON THIS BUILDING, SO PLEASE EVACUATE THE BUILDING AND DO NOT RETURN UNTIL AUTHORITIES SAY IT IS OKAY TO! THANK YOU VERY MUCH, OUT OF THE DOOR IN DOUBLE FILE PLEASE, NO-"

Sighing, you watched as the panicked people began to push each other to get out of the building.

"People."

Then you remembered you were a person.

"Dang it."

Kicking back, you watched the security cameras. People pouring out of the building screaming was weirdly entertaining.

One camera feed caught your eye. A strange man was waving his arms frantically and pointing next to him.

"Oh look." You said, quite sarcastically. "That's the doctor."

Indeed, it was.

Quickly reading where it was, you took the staff private lift (stealing ID cards) and went down to the basement.

"Sup?"

"The bomb." The Doctor greeted you. "I was wrong. It's not in this building-"

"Then.... then what-"

"It _is_ the building."

"We....we evacuated the people, right? They're safe now!"

"But..." he grimaced. "The building's too big. It could affect-" He hesitated.

"It could affect what?"

He hesitated for a moment before continuing- "Affect the whole city."

Your heart dropped. "What happens now?"

"The control center." He ran his fingers through his hair. "Is it there?"

"No."

"What do humans not have that I do, what do humans not have that I do-"

"Another heart?" You suggested.

"No, you don't have that either. I couldn't have activated it, I was here and in the lobby only, so it must have been caused by me doing something to you, a unique thing that no other human has, that I gave to you. What is it? What?"

"Travel time on the TARDIS?" You suggested, again.

"Matter stuff." He exclaimed suddenly. "Matter stuff. Matter Stuff! Damn it, it was ruined by the matter stuff-"

"What matter stuff? Calm down!" Your eyes widened.

The Doctor handed you funky-looking glasses. "Put them on."

You did.

"You see the swirly things around you, and around me?"

"Yeah, but why-"

"That's matter stuff."

"Why is that important suddenly?"

"Someone with matter stuff, we're drenched in it because we've been traveling through time and continuously using the TARDIS. Oh, clever, clever. We enter this trap."

"Doctor, explain! Please!"

"Matter stuff activates the bomb. It was a trap set for me. But-"

"But?"

"But you got caught in it too! Damn it!" He angrily strode forwards. "Come on, we're taking the lift."

"To where?" You asked, cautiously- you knew how the Doctor could be when he was mad.

He growled. "To the control room. I'm guessing the controls are there."

"But I didn't see anything and-"

"I'm guessing there is more to anything than what _you_ see." He snarled. You recoiled and got into the elevator silently, pressing the 4th floor button. The comment stung, like every bad one did from the Doctor. You hated it when he was like this- when he would snap at you. The Doctor you loved, the one that sent butterflies fluttering in your stomach, was the charming one. You didn't like this one at all.

The elevator ride was a silent and short one. Soon, it let out a cheerful  _ding_ and you exited it, leading the way to the control room. There you swung open the door- revealing two police officers, whom were named, respectfully, Bob and Bobby.

"You ain't allowed here." The bigger one, Bob, grunted.

"Stop sounding so dumb, Bob. Excuse me, but unless you are authorized personnel, you're not allowed here, Ms....?"

"Ms. (L/N)."

"Ms. (L/N) and...?"

"The Doctor." The Doctor said.

"Doctor who?"

"Just the Doctor."

"Whatever your names are." Bob growled. "Get outta here, mates."

"Mates?" You snorted.

"Well, we have this!" The Doctor, obviously in a better mood now, whipped out the ID card thing.

"You are... Doctor Marley McCartney?"

Internally you laughed at the name.

"Yes. Ah, yes. I am."

"Authorized access."

"Yes."

"Knew you shouldn't have sounded so dumb in front of an authorized personnel!" Bobby scolded Bob, then turned to you. "And who is this?"

"I'm..." You whipped out the stolen ID card. "Here."

"Doctor Sally McCartney?" He squinted. "You're his wife?"

You internally cringed. Any card would have satisfied- except for this one. It reminded you a little too much of the teeny tiny crush you had on the Doctor that was actually bigger than the TARDIS.

"Yeah." You put on a smile. "We met at work."

"Mmm." He looked unconvinced. "Why are you here?"

 _Why is he blocking our way? We don't have much time left!_ You glanced at the Doctor, who seemed to be thinking similar things. He coughed. "So can we pass?" You felt his hand touch yours slightly and then his fingers laced around yours. Your heart dropped and you began to blush slightly, when you remembered you had to act like "wife and husband". But his hand on yours, warm and what you had unconsciously daydreamed about, was  _incredibly_ unnerving.

"Bobby" made a face at your entwined hands and glanced over at Bob, who was watching your every move as if you would start a porn show in front of him. "All right. Come on, Bob."

The two of them lumbered away.

You made a sound of frustration. "We don't have much time left!"

"I know." The Doctor pushed his other hand into his pocket. "Come on."

He dragged you over to the controls and took out his sonic screwdriver, starting to wave it over everything.

You just stood there, examining random buttons, until you found the red one you had pushed when live broadcasting. "I pushed this one when I was broadcasting the message through the building." You informed him.

Raising an eyebrow, he examined the button with his screwdriver. "Yeah, it's activated by matter stuff all right. But how-"

The screens that were previously showing security feed now showed static, and that soon ceased as all the screens combined into one- a giant countdown.

00:01:02

"Damn it! There's only a minute left, Doctor!"

He grimaced, and put his screwdriver away. "We can't diffuse something like this. It can't happen. It's not going to work."

"Then what do we do?" You glanced at the ever-blinking screen.

00:00:56

"Shoot, Doctor..." You warned.

"I know, I know!" He frantically looked around. "There could be something to help, anything to help-"

"The TARDIS?" You suggested. "It could do something."

"Do what?"

"Absorb the energy or something?" You shrugged.

He thought, then his eyes widened and he snapped his fingers. "Brilliant! Amazing, (Y/N), you are by far the smartest companion I've ever had, beautiful!"

"Thanks." You grinned, feeling a slight blush dust your cheeks. "So the TARDIS is in the basement...."

"I'll go get it." The Doctor rushed out.

You breathed a sigh of relief after the Doctor left, and checked your hair.

Ten seconds later, the TARDIS appeared in the office, and the Doctor poked his head out. "I'm back." He announced.

"I can see that." You shrugged. "So, how are we going to do this?"

"Forty seconds." he noted.

You wrung your hands. "Come on, come on!"

"Get in here, quickly." The Doctor called you in. "(Y/N), I need you to grab those controls for me, and just pull them when I tell you to, okay?"

"Thirty seconds. Yeah, okay." You nodded and moved over to the said controls. The Doctor frowned and fiddled with the controls a little bit and took his place besides you.

"You know you could die, right?" He mumbled. "I would regenerate, but you would die. Painfully."

"It's okay." You smiled. "I have a time lord to protect me."

He just faintly smiled, and looked up at the camera showing the countdown. "Fifteen seconds."

"Well, whatever." You shrugged.

Ten seconds.

You felt something warm against your hand, and the Doctor gently eased his fingers through yours.

Looking down at the lever, you struggled to contain your blush.

"Five..... four....three.....two....one.....go!" The Doctor shouted, and with a sweaty hand you tightened your grip on the lever and  _pulled._

A whirling sound started off, then got bigger and bigger.

A blinding light flashed through the TARDIS.

The only thing you could feel was pain, and the Doctor holding on to you.

You were afraid.

Then....

it all stopped.

The blinding lights faded, and the noise died down.

"We've done it." You murmured, disbelieving.

"We've done it." The Doctor agreed.

The TARDIS whirred in agreement.


	4. Chapter 4

"What's wrong?" The Doctor asked you.

You ignored him, and instead chose to be silent.

"Please can you just tell me what's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong." You snapped. "Go away."

"Come on, (Y/N)...."

"Get a life." You snapped, again. "Stop begging. Go away."

He obviously didn't get the feeling of your death radar.

"(Y/N)...."

You huffed, annoyed at him for not getting the message, and stormed to the other chair, where you sat down facing away from him.

The Doctor shoved his hands in his pockets and sighed, walking over to Rose.

"What's wrong with her?" You heard Rose Tyler ask the Doctor.

"I don't know. She's mad at me, I think."

"Why is she mad at you?"

"Exactly! What did I do wrong?"

"You must have done something."

"Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!" You screamed, holding your head in your hands. "Just SHUT UP!"

Rose stood, petrified.

"A...are you okay, (Y/N)?" The Doctor frowned.

"Do you think I'm okay?!" You shouted. "I don't know what's happening!"

Silence.

"What do you mean you don't know what's happening?" The Doctor asked, cautiously.

You recoiled, like you had been stung. "N...nothing." Then you took off, zigzagging through the hallways and trusting that the TARDIS would take you where you needed to go.

Your peaceful place- the library. The old library with its scent of books and the musty smell that helped calm you. You looked at your hands as you ran, your breathing ragged. 

You didn't know what had possessed you.

Your emotions were spiking at unnatural levels, suddenly happy and shouting about how you wanted to go see the Oods, and at other times moody and just so  _angry._

As you watched your hands, they began to pulse with golden light.

_What's happening to me?_

You could see everything. You could make sense of the TARDIS's beeps.

You could  _feel_ everything.

It was like your eyes were put through a camera filter- this point of view was so new, and the information being progressed to your brain was too much to handle.

Suddenly a wave of sadness overcame you and you choked, tears filling your eyes as there was flickering. A man was running through the same hallway. A weird looking man, with a suspiciously bowl-looking haircut and a small flute-like thing in his hand. He ran past.

And faded.

Another man walked past, with curly hair, a striped scarf and a funky hat. He walked past, humming to himself and holding a small metal object.

He faded, again.

Then another one, blond with a sweater and a polo shirt. His hands were stuffed in his pockets and he was leisurely strolling past. A woman followed him, with bouncy brown curls.

They gradually disappeared, just as the others had.

The next one was a man holding a black umbrella with a red question mark-shaped handle. He had a little bit of a potbelly and had on a straw hat. A girl with a weird jacket was next to him.

Laughter rung through the hall and vanished.

The cycle repeating, this time with long, slightly wavy hair and a long nose. He had on old-London clothes and was looking at a pocket watch while the girl next to him, an identifiable brunette whose hair was just reaching her shoulders, faintly smiled.

They walked a few more steps before fading.

It dawned on you then- you were seeing the past incarnations of the Doctor.

You were seeing the past.

How was this possible?

You yelped as a much clearer doctor walked past. The ninth Doctor- less hair, wearing a more casual fashion than the rest of the Doctors. The tip of his leather jacket touched you but went straight through. You heard them clearly this time.

"Fantastic." The Doctor yelled. "Absolutely fantastic!"

The woman next to him grew clearer, and you gasped as you saw Rose Tyler walking with the Ninth Doctor. "Doctor!"

"Oh, but it actually is!" He made a funny face. "Fannnntastic!"

"Someone's in a good mood today." Rose remarked.

The two of them turned see-through and you could only see their outlines now. Then they disappeared.

"Wha-what?" You sobbed, covering your eyes. You didn't know what was happening. You were scared.

Shivering, you sank down in the middle of the hallway and buried your face in your hands, letting the sobs wrack your body.

"Shh." A voice said. "Calm down, (Y/N)."

"D-Doctor?" You looked up.  "H...help me, I don't know what's wrong...."

He kissed the top of your head. "I don't know either, but we're going to find out, okay? Just stop panicking. Take deep breaths."

You took some deep breaths, then hiccuped and panic reached you again as you processed the information. "I saw old versions of you! You... you were wearing a leather jacket, and you had.... had a red and black umbrella, and...." You wiped away your tears. "What's wrong with me? Wha... what's happening to me, Doctor?"

He wiped away your tears and led you to the control room. You were close to him, uncomfortably close. You could feel his breaths against your forehead.

You felt yourself blush, then thought,  _at least he's paying attention to me and not Rose._

"Rose!" The Doctor immediately left your side, seating you down on a chair, and greeted his companion. "Find anything out?"

"You left!" She punched his arm. "You  _bloody_ left without me!"

"Well, I did have to get someone." He nodded over to you. "Something's wrong with her, I don't know what it is. She says she saw my old incantations, and I think she's having extreme mood swings." He frowned. "I suddenly feel really sad. I don't know why. Hmm."

You curled up into a ball. Of course he would rush to his Rose Tyler, all blonde and beautiful and perky. He forgot about you. Again.

"Come on." He grabbed Rose's hand and dragged her over to you. "You okay, (Y/N)?"

"Just fucking peachy." You said, your words dripping with sarcasm.

He frowned. "Was that sarcasm?" Not giving you a chance to answer, he began scanning you with his screwdriver. It began making a different sound and he held it up, looking at the analysis.

The Doctor's face went pale.


	5. Chapter 5

"What's wrong, Doctor?" Rose was by him in a second. "Doctor?"

He was silent for a moment, and then shakes his head slowly. "I... I don't know what to say about this."

"Say about what?" Rose prodded. "Doctor, what is it?"

The Doctor sighed. "Not you....."

"Not me?" You ran your fingers through your hair. "What is that supposed to mean, huh?"

"You're giving off the same energy as me." He mumbled. "But that's not possible, is it? Unless.... but no...."

"Doctor, explain!" You put a hand on his arm and he flinched. "Doctor...."

Rose pursed her lips and put a hand on her shoulder. "Doctor, I think you'd better explain it to her."

And you saw his expression change, how he would sigh and just give in to what she would say. "We give off the same energy, the same pulse. But I'm alien. I'm a time lord. So it means either you somehow became a time lord-"

"-which is impossible-"

"-or..." He sighed. "Or you somehow got your life force tangled in mine."

You guessed what he was thinking.  _What a pity it wasn't Rose,_ you thought.  _Perfect, perky blonde Rose whom the Doctor adores._

"Well, what the hell am I supposed to say to that?" You threw your hands up. "Geez, I'm so incredibly sorry I got your life force tangled in mine. What an unfortunate incident! I should have kept my distance or done something, but no, I didn't! This whole enchilada is all my fault and I beg for your forgiveness!"

He breathed deeply, no doubt trying to process the situation of not having Rose but you as entwined life forces or whatever, while dealing with your annoying ranting and not Rose's great ones. "(Y/N)..." he warned.

"Um, thanks! I'll just get going, then." You shrugged. "I mean, just talk with Rose Tyler or something. We both know she can make the better decision."

Gathering up your hurt pride and feelings, you strode out of the console room.


	6. Chapter 6

You didn't say anything. Of course you didn't. You were used to being invisible, being hurt. You were used to people ignoring you while they spouted bad words about you.

So you just sat there in one of the chairs, hidden by your oversized hoodie and trying to look like you were doing something other than watching the Doctor and Rose Tyler flirt with each other.

The worst thing was, you understood. You understood that he was so in love with her, and that sometimes in one of his happy moods, he might just about forget about you because he was too busy looking at Rose.

But you didn't want to understand.

You wished he was looking at you and not Rose, but, oh well. Born to suffer.

Still watching them, you forced yourself to accept the fact that it would always stay this way. Never changing. He would love Rose Tyler, and they would never, ever, upset each other. You would always be the third wheeler.

Cursing the day you walked into the TARDIS, you took up a knife and inflicted greater pain than your heartbreak.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Song Credits to Sia  
> "Never Give Up"

Boom.

The building exploded, and the Doctor felt his world crash down on itself, like he would always feel when he failed to save someone. But this time it had not been just someone- it had been a whole building full of people, and he had let them down.

He saw a stray Cyberman walk out of the ruins, but just as fast as it clanked out, his trusty, brilliant, companion, (Y/N), touched the back of its head with her borrowed (stolen) electromagnetic pulse device.

He paid no attention.

All the Doctor's attention was poured out into the building, the crumbling, falling building with around a hundred humans still trapped inside. Humans that had depended on him, and humans that had been let down.

He buried his hands in his hair and let out a growl, sorrow washing over him to see the life forces die out one by one.

The Doctor didn't hear (Y/N) as she led him to his blue TARDIS.

The Doctor didn't look at (Y/N) as she walked over to Rose Tyler, and started to talk.

The Doctor did smell the smoke from the explosion.

The Doctor did taste the lingering bitter taste of ash, bitter like he was.

The Doctor did feel the scrapes in his palms, but physical pain was nothing,  _absolutely nothing,_ compared to the pain he had felt when he saw all those people die right in front of his eyes.

The Doctor felt like he wanted to explode.

Unwillingly, a small tear trickled down his face.

Rose Tyler stood there, awkwardly.

 _I should have saved them,_ he thought to her. _But I wasn't good enough_ _._

(Y/N) came over to him and held her arms out. Knowing what he was going through. Being so  _understanding._

_I don't want to depend on anyone anymore. It was my fault._

"Shh. Sometimes even heroes make mistakes. It wasn't your fault." She shushed him and he realized he had said it out loud.

Rose, to the side, seemed shocked and unable to do anything.

The Doctor had  _cried._

One tear, but he had.

"It's okay to cry." (Y/N) whispered, and he accepted her embrace, burying his face into the crook of her neck. "It's okay to show vulnerability once in a while, Doctor. Nobody's perfect."

He had to be. He had caused too much death and destruction to not be and not feel guilty at the same time.

When he pulled away, she wasn't smiling one of those  _I-Pity-You-Because-I'm-Your-Therapist_ smiles. The forced ones.

It was one of those beautiful smiles that said,  _I care that you're okay._

"Sing." He croaked.

"Pardon?" Her mismatched eyes turned on him. "What was that?"

"Sing." He said louder. "Can you sing?"

He remembered when a woman he once called his mother used to sing to him, a Gallifreyan lullaby to help calm him.

"Y...yeah." She shrugged. "If a raven can sing, yes."

"C...can you sing to me?" He's afraid she'll say no, and he'll be left alone. With his thoughts.

"Just wait a bit, okay?" She walked over to the console and talked to Rose. Rose Tyler nodded and walked away, probably to her room, leaving (Y/N) to be seemingly having a mental conversation with the TARDIS, and then she flipped a few switches. The TARDIS began to  _vwoosh_.

As the familiar time-warping sound filled the room, (Y/N) held him in her arms and sang to him.

Oh yeah, I'm haunted by the distant past  
Called to the skies but she was overcast  
  
But I won't never give up, no, never give up, no, no  
No, I won't never give up, no, never give up, no, no....


	8. Chapter 8

She leaned her head on his arm as their legs hung over the open door of the TARDIS. In front of them was a galaxy of stars, splashed across the dark background like diamonds.

"The stars you see on Earth are actually ghosts of stars, did you know that?"

"What?" (Y/N) mumbled. "How can stars have ghosts?"

"The sun." He wrapped an around around her shoulders and she leaned into him. "The sun is the closest source of light from your planet. But, there are other stars."

"As I know."

"As you know." He turned his head to press a kiss to the top of her head. "Well, the other stars aren't just not close. They're very, very far away- so far away, in fact, that the light takes a huge amount of time to travel to Earth. But (Y/N), the stars you see have taken so long to travel to Earth, that they're already dead. The lights glimmering in the sky are the lights that are still traveling in space to get to Earth."

"W...wow." She murmured. "I... I guess I didn't know that."

He started to smile, then thought of the star he had seen in Gallifrey. The star that lit up the skies orange and the star that he would watch every day, wondering if he would ever get to see it close.

"Not all stars last forever. We just have to cherish them as long as we can." (Y/N) told him. "And hey, we've got plenty other stars in the sky, yeah?"

His face lit up in a smile.

And they sat there, watching the stars, and he was glad to have her there by his side. His trusty companion.

Besides him, he could feel (Y/N)'s soft breathing. She was asleep. The weight of her head was on his shoulder, and he rested his head on hers.

"Thank you." He whispered to her sleeping form. "Thank you for being the brightest star of all."


	9. Chapter 9

"No!" A hoarse cry tore from the Doctor's lips. "Rose!"

The shout was terrible, like one of a man whose whole world was crumbling.

"Rose...." You reached your hand out to the place she had been five seconds ago. Those five seconds ago, she had been with you, trying her best to not get sucked in the void, and then her father had grabbed her, prevented her from falling into the void and had teleported her-

Out of their grasp.

"We have to find a way." The Doctor mumbled. "Rose, Rose Tyler...."

"Doctor." You whispered. You didn't want to admit it, but she was gone. "She's lost. We can't get to her."

"Why the hell not?!" He snapped. "Anything is possible!"

"Not this, Doctor." You tasted salt on your lips. Huh, you hadn't realized you were crying. "You of all people should know that. We can't reopen this hole."

"We have to." His voice was a bare whisper. "We can't just leave her like this."

"Doctor, please-"

"Rose Tyler..." her name was beautiful in his mouth. Or so he thought.

You pressed a kiss to his forehead. "I'm sorry, Doctor."

The TARDIS hummed with something you could only describe as uncontrollable sadness, and you swung open her door, supporting the Doctor. You staggered inside and pushed him onto a chair.

He kept mumbling.

_We have to._

_We have to._

_We have to._


	10. Chapter 10

It hurt.

It still hurts.

The small token cuts into his palm as he grips it tightly. It hurts, but he doesn't want to let it go. He wants to remember the anniversary when the Cybermen and the Daleks took her away from him.

He hears (Y/N) call out his name, but choose to ignore her as he instead focuses on the object at hand. He knows he should probably focus on (Y/N), poor (Y/N) who's getting the worst of his depression, but he can't really bring himself to care about anything anymore. The only good days are when he feels good, when they walk along together and joke, when her beautiful smile lights up her beautiful face.

But Rose.

If (Y/N) is beautiful in his eyes, then Rose Tyler was stunning, gorgeous, inhumanly amazing. He loved Rose Tyler more.

Before she was torn from his grasp.

He stops thinking, and instead focuses on the thing that has her scent on it, her memories. He cherishes them.

And then he stays there, just watching the object and blotting out everything, the sounds, Martha Jones, (Y/N)-

Until a hand grips his shoulder and pulls him roughly around.

"Doctor." (Y/N)'s voice is shaking with barely suppressed rage. "We need to talk."


	11. Chapter 11

_I just couldn't stand it anymore,_ you tell yourself while the Doctor leads you away from Martha Jones and into his room. And it's true.

You're positively  _boiling,_ overflowing with anger.

You grab him by the scruff of his neck and pushes him in, then punches the lock on the door shut. "Doctor, you have to stop doing this!"

"Doing what?" He mumbles, cradling Rose's necklace in his hand. "I'm not doing anything."

"This." You gestured to him, then youself, then the TARDIS. "You can't just whisk me away and forget about this, okay? If you're going to be like this, I wish I hadn't met you! I wish I hadn't known you with your stupid Allons-y's and Alonso's!"

You saw his expression morph from confusion to hurt. "(Y/N), what do you mean?"

"What do I mean?" Tears sprang to your eyes. "What do you think I mean? You promised me with hopes of you caring, somebody actually liking me and not treating me as different? What do I get from your hollow promises, Doctor? Always moping around Rose Tyler, making me a third wheeler, and when she's gone, you treat me like I'm not there anymore! Like Martha Jones is your _only_ companion!"

"I care about you." He said quietly, sounding unconvinced with what he himself said.

You pushed him. "Oh, you care about me? I care about you is more like it, Doctor! I was the one who comforted you when Rose Tyler went to another dimension. I was the one who comforted you when you couldn't save those people! I always cared about you, but I...." You started choking up with sobs. "I can't do this anymore, Doctor. You're _neglecting._ "

Horror dawned on his face. "B...but I did care about you. I..." He couldn't continue, because he knew you were right. Because every word you said was right.

"You don't care about me anymore, Doctor." You whispered.

His hands dropped to his sides and he hung his head.

Not responding.

Wiping away the tears furiously, you turned around to leave. "I'm going back to where you found me. I'd rather be different than on the other end of unfulfilled promises." Your hands fumbled with the lock and finally got them open.

Finally.

But just as you were about to leave, a hand grabbed your wrist. The Doctor mumbled something.

You whipped around. "What?" You snapped.

"I'm sorry I've been treating you this way." He sighed. "Thank you for caring."

"900 years of time and space. Someone needs to look after you." Your voice was still hard, but there was a certain softness to it.

The Doctor's hand fell lower and your fingers were now interlocked. "Listen, (Y/N), I'm sorry. I just was a bit...." He grimaced. "Overly preoccupied with my life."

"Love makes you blind." You shrugged. "You're quite a broken person, Doctor, but what you never learnt to do is _let go._ That's why you keep people away in the first place- when they die, when you end up caring too much for them but something happens, you'll never let go."

"And you know what?"

He gave you a questioning look.

"I want you to learn to let go, Doctor. Of all the people you failed to save, of Mickey, of Rose. Forget and concentrate on the present, not the past or the future."

He was silent.

Then- "Thank you."

You reached up and landed a soft kiss on his cheek, using your fingers to tilt his head a bit.

"It's okay to be happy, Doctor."

(Y/N) walked out of the room, her fingers slipping from his.

The Doctor's arm dropped down to his side.

He wondered how someone so young could be so wise.


	12. Chapter 12

 

The Doctor walked into the console room. Nobody was there. However, that was expected- after all, it was the middle of the night.

He turned around as beeps intruded his thoughts.

The TARDIS.

_Doctor, I have something to show you._

_It's important._

_Now._

He frowned. The TARDIS rarely ever gave orders to him of all people, and if she did it was most likely serious.

_What, old girl?_

The TARDIS beeped.

_A memory._

His mouth opened and closed.

_A memory?_

The TARDIS seemed very, very serious.

_Yes, a memory preserved inside me. She told me to share it with you when you and (Y/N) would get into an argument, a big one._

Frowning, he touched the console.

_Show me._

* * *

 

_He was in the console room. Everything was the same, except for the fact that someone was sitting on one of the chairs._

_A face he thought he wouldn't ever see again- Rose Tyler._

_"Rose..." he sobbed and his hands moved to caress her face._

_She looked straight at him._

_"Doctor, if you're watching this I'm most likely dead or something happened to me, and you got in an argument with (Y/N)." She took a deep breath and continued. "I love you, Doctor. I love you with all my heart, and I'm sorry for breaking your heart by making you watch this. But this is important."_

_"I love you too." He whispered._

_She smiled, a beautiful phenomenon that was gone as fast as it appeared._

_"(Y/N)'s important, Doctor. You can't let her go."_

_"Why?" He murmured._

_She didn't seem to hear, and fidgeting with her hair, her eyes, dark with mascara, stared at him. "You have to treat her better, Doctor. She's got no one but you. I'm not saying that you should pity her. What I'm saying is that she's very broken, Doctor. (Y/N)'s life has been a series of miserable scenes, one by one, and another one will send her life crashing down. She can't afford that type of thing, Doctor."_

_"But..." he breathed. "She seemed okay. Completely fine."_

_"She's used to covering up her emotions, Doctor. She's used to being cast aside, to no one caring about her. She won't question your antics if you don't care for her. She might tell you once or twice, yeah, but she won't expect you to live up to her requirements because she's used to it. She's used to her promises and her wishes being tossed aside and she's used to caring about others first. Even though when we met her she looked tough, she made that personality up to fool people. She's afraid, Doctor, and you have to fix her."_

_He was astonished- how did Rose know so much about (Y/N)? How had he not noticed? "She...." He was at a loss for words._

_"Help her, Doctor. I know you can do it."_

* * *

He awoke to a concerned face and to the floor of the TARDIS. The Doctor was lying down there, his face half planted there, and the other half of his vision was dominated by the face of (Y/N) (L/N). Her eyebrows were knitted together in a frown and her mouth was pressed together into a thin line.

"Are you okay?" She ever so gently lifted him into a sitting position. "You were just standing there swaying, then fell down."

He looked into her eyes. Rose had been right. He saw shattered glass there, broken and empty. He saw the disguised pain, how she smiled because people told her to smile, how she laughed for other's pleasures when she didn't want to.

"Oh, (Y/N)... my beautiful (Y/N)..." He sighed and pulled her into a hug. She stumbled from her crouch, landing straight onto his lap and they just sat there, him sitting on the floor with the console supporting his back, her spread across his lap, both of them hugging each other fiercely.

He rubbed circles into (Y/N)'s back. Circular words, Gallifreyan words.

 _It's okay._ He wrote.  _I love you._

And deep within his mind, he thought,  _I finally let go of Rose Tyler._

He wondered what she would have said.


	13. Chapter 13

"Give up the Doctor and you will not be exterminated." The Daleks beeped, advancing closer towards the building.

You scowled. "What are we going to do?"

"I don't...." The Doctor frowned. "I don't know..."

"Well, that's a useful answer." Snorting. "No, seriously, I mean what?"

"Well," You shrugged. "We've got to do something."

"Give us the Doctor and you will not be exterminated." The Daleks repeated.

He could see it. Behind her seemingly fearless demeanor, she was shaking, her eyes wide and terrified- even more so, as he had said  _I don't know._

He had to think of something. For his and her sake both.

"I'll..." He cursed himself for getting into this position in the first place- in a building filled with vulnerable people, five Daleks advancing towards them. They had enough firepower hidden away to blow the whole building.

He surveyed his surroundings, and his heart fell as he thought. "There's no other choice, (Y/N). I have to turn myself in."

"No! You're the Doctor, there's another way."

He breathed deeply. He was tired of regenerating, but if it would save all these people, and especially (Y/N), he would do it. "I have to. _Things_ are at stake here."

"They have a gun," She continued, her voice shaking. "They have a gun that can scatter your atoms so far away you won't be able to regenerate. They will literally use up all your regenerations at once so that you will die. You're not going to regenerate, Doctor. And the damn universe needs you."

"What other _choice_ is there?!" He wanted to scream out in frustration as the Daleks moved closer and closer.

"The universe needs you," she whispered, "But it doesn't need me."

His insides grew cold.

"What- no, what plan-"

She dug into her pocket and pulled out something. "Mechanics, Doctor. I've been working on a prototype since seeing your teleporting thing. It's a device that will take you where you want to go. I've set the coordinates to the TARDIS."

"So what?" He asked. But the Doctor knew what she was getting at.

"It can only transport one person, Doctor." She fastened it around his arm. "Get out of here. There's not enough time."

"I'm not leaving you." He whispered. "I can't. The building will blow up, you will blow up, I have to do this."

(Y/N)'s mismatched eyes shone brighter than ever. "I can convince them not to blow the building."

"It's..." his voice was hoarse. "It's not going to work."

"We don't have enough time." Her fingers hovered over the TRANSPORT button.

"Don't do this!" He ripped the teleportation prototype away from his arm.

She whipped around, holding the prototype in place. "The world has been so, so, cruel to me, Doctor. I have escaped so many dangers, experienced so many frights.... but I am tortured. I have nightmares at night, and I can only think that the world does not accept me. This was my choice, Doctor."

He choked on his own words. "Please..." He whispered. "I love you. Please, don't go."

Then she uttered the four words he never thought he'd hear from her.

"I love you too."

She leaned in and kissed him.

Her kiss was sweet and slow, savoring the moment. He found himself kissing back, and realizing, from that one kiss, that he had loved her only. He had loved her all along, only her, and he had been too stupid and wrapped up in himself to realize he loved her.

"I will always love you." He could do nothing but watch as her nimble fingers re-fastened the device. "Don't forget that, don't forget me."

"Don't torture yourself over this, Doctor. If I die-"

Your breath caught in your throat. "-I died loving you."

He cried out, his fingers tearing at the strap of the device, but she had already pressed the button. A bright flash, and he found himself staring at the inside of the TARDIS.

Yet the Doctor could do nothing but stare at the camera screen.

* * *

 

"DALEKS!" You shouted. Your heart was beating faster than it ever had before, and you touched your fingers to your lips, tasting the Doctor's scent still on them. You felt strength surging through your limbs, and ran out of the room you were in, taking the stairs down and finally reaching the exit. "Daleks!"

The five creatures, advancing towards you, stopped.

"Twenty-four years old." The fourth Dalek analysed. "Heterochromia. Height: (Your Height), species: human."

"Daleks." You cut them off. "I have good news for you."

"And what is that news, human?!" The last Dalek pointed his eyestalk at you.

You put on a smug expression. "I have killed the Doctor."

"The human lies!" The first Dalek cried. "I do not sense any Time Lords within the building!"

"And," you quirked your lips up in a smile. "He's regenerating somewhere, but not here."

"How is that possible?!" The second Dalek argued. "We sensed a Time Lord in the building until a few seconds ago!"

"Seven point five three eight seconds!" The third Dalek corrected. "You are lying!"

You rummaged in your bag and pulled out a key. It was actually your locker key in the martial arts club you taught at, but they didn't need to know that. "I have the key to the TARDIS!" You declared. "He trusted me, so I took the key from him and transported him to the planet of Maq'ugh p'riya."

"The planet of Maq'ugh p'riya?!" Now the Daleks were getting excited.

"Yes. He's regenerating in a swamp somewhere there. If you run along fast enough you can catch him at his vulnurable state."

The third Dalek turned around. "We must go!"

The others agreed.

You breathed.

"Wait!" The first Dalek turned sharply and you could almost imagine it narrowing its eyes at you. "The human could inform the predator."

"I'm not going to." You said, a little too quickly for your taste. "I swear, I'm not."

"Humans cannot be trusted!" The last Dalek accusingly turned his head.

"Agreed." The fourth Dalek glided over to you, and stood a little too close for your taste. "Historical examples: a war known to the humans as 'World War Two', At least 58 noted examples of spies were found."

"Humans cannot be trusted!" The third Dalek insisted. "Exterminate the human."

"EXTERMINATE!"

"EXTERMINATE!"

You touched your lips again; the Doctor's scent calmed you.

 _I love you, Doctor._ You backed away from them a little bit.

_I love you so much._

The last thing you saw was a bright flash.

Nothing else.


	14. Chapter 14

On planet Earth was a Doctor.

His sobs wracked his body, and he looked down at the body of the woman he loved.

He clutched her in his arms and sobbed, sobbed as if it would bring her back.

He kissed her, and shook her, hoping that somehow she would come alive again and tell him she loved him.

He could feel her last kiss lingering on his lips, wanting more.

He could do nothing but cry, his wet sobs staining his coat and her clothes but no longer caring.

He felt like he was dying. He wanted to die. He  _needed ****_ ****to die.

On planet Earth was a Doctor.

He was a broken Doctor.

The girl's words echoed in his head, again and again, as he sprawled there and cried.

_I love you, Doctor._

_I will always love you._


End file.
